Pain is the unseen door to finally heal. Our yearning is the greater reality exerting itself. There is no way to side step our fear.

Our society live in a bubble of psycho emotional numbing down of difficult feelings and emotions, creating apathy, resignation and nihilism that squats behind the label of coping and political correctness for appearances.

Your life is the one thing you have in this moment, but have you truly made it yours?  Is it a clear and direct expression of you as a whole and integrated being?


When emotional pain intensifies and we are daily just trying to cope, it has become generalized a kind of self-ache, if you will. When this self ache intensifies, over time, it becomes a silent suffering. This kind of suffering is experienced as a numbing disconnection and emptiness from the core of your being.  This emotional self-ache is your repeated failure to act successfully on the natural motivation of pain.

To heal and repair, we must follow the source of the pain

If it’s that simple, why is it so hard?

When we suffer we have gotten into the ‘habit’ of numbing out and avoiding our pain feedback.  This habitual pattern of avoidance of pain is systemic within our culture.  The pain is not recognized as our opportunity to attune and heal.  We will instead go to great length to numb and distract ourselves from feeling the pain. We engage in numerous activities and behaviors’ to numb out and distract us from the consistent self-ache.  The pain-signals that should motivate self correction, healing, and integration is being ignored.

The common blind-spot pattern

Anything that numbs or avoids pain undermines your direct willingness and ability to attune and self correct.   The most common blind-spot is the stories we tell ourselves and others about our pain.   We attempt to understand and make meaning about all the reasons we suffer.  Sometimes we blame ourselves and sometimes we blame others.

The most common pattern is to revisit the many would, could and should have in search for meaning and understanding.   Or, another paralyzing pattern is when we blame others for the cause of our suffering. Others can trigger and put us in immediate contact with the core wounds that perpetuate the pain and suffering, but they are not the cause.

The common abdication pattern.

All narratives of blame, shame, anger, rage, resentment, as well as the narratives of hope and wishful thinking effectively obstruct the pause and relaxation that is immediately available for effective engagement as an attentive relaxation.  The solution to resolve our fear that has become our suffering is not to be found in the beliefs or stories  we may tell ourselves.  It is further.

We only abdicate the immediate  necessary responsiveness to our felt contraction by becoming seduced by our own production of stories. All these ‘narratives’ we tell ourselves, in reality, obstruct the pause that is essential to realize the habituated mental reactivity that deflects our immediate contraction that in actuality signals an opportunity to presence, relax, and notice

Our narratives only obstruct a clear and direct receptivity to lean into and feel the existential contraction at the center of our  being. The solution is to feel and notice the instinctual contraction that turns away away from  our infinite reality. To accept this movement and turn our attention towards it and not away from it.

All root causes of emotional pain can only be resolved by piercing the habits that obstruct  sensory integration.  Any avoidance and abdication of any contraction in you, will in time build up and become intolerable. Ultimately, fear and pain, ignored, kills life!

It takes mindfulness and emotional reconditioning to break habits.

When we avoid our pain we back it up into our energetic field.  Over time this makes the alarm of pain louder and more general.  Anxiety will build up and the pain will finally exceed or deplete your coping skills. We are in fact not taking advantage of the shock that could jolt us awake and propel us back into life if we chose to confront these these fearful emotions, instead of squirming,  fighting, fleeing, and freezing. We can choose to skillfully navigate when we feel overwhelmed and vulnerable.

The first crucial step is to become aware and responsive to your pain feedback, so the pain can work for you instead of against you.  As we attune to our ‘pain and suffering,’ we can start to peel back the layers of stories we tell ourselves about them.

By becoming aware and mindful we have an opportunity to connect with the root cause of our pain and suffering, and discover the mechanism within our body mind that sustain and feed the pain, and all the stories we tell ourselves about the pain.

Attune to your pain and suffering

The pain is a motivator to understand the underlying cause of your pain, and get intimate and direct with it.   As a life-saving alarm system, all pain keeps us focused on distress, for the purpose of relieving it. The motivation is to re-evaluate and reap our pain feedback to achieve integration.   Painful emotions have a self-healing and self-correcting component. When we take advantage of it, we flourish. When we don’t, we suffer.

As we get responsive to the pain in us, the formerly intolerable sensations of feeling our contraction, can be not only tolerated, but can be felt and known as an essential part of our ability to heal and self correct.

What were formerly repressed feelings become the vital invitation from your source origin to attune and integrate. This integration forms the foundation to a new clarity of being.   A clarity and connection to life and well being that is not dependent on the context of thinking or story.


When you become present with life as it is, in you, you start to observe and notice your own preferential structures and wishful thinking for outcomes.  It the silent space, between our conditioned thinking and feeling, we can start to awaken to what has been unseen. The seed of life, the wholeness unseen and unborn, gradually becomes visible in you.

Your stories are blankets between the idea of you and the uncertainty

THIS ARTICLE , in part, ONLINE, published June 22, 2012

Choose.” By Jeff Brown

“You can deny, repress, distort, and bury your unresolved wounds all you want. You can re-frame them, pseudo-positivity them, detach from them, spiritual bypass them. You can re-name yourself, hide away in a monastery, turn your story around. And you can spend all your money on superficial healing practices and hocus pocus practitioners. But it won’t mean a damn thing, if you don’t do the deeper work to excavate and heal your primary wounds. Because the material is still there, right where you left it, ruling your life and controlling your choices. This is the nature of unhealed material- it is alive, and one way or the other, it will manifest itself in your lived experience. It will language your inner narrative. It will obstruct your path and limit your possibilities. It lives everywhere that you live. And so you have to decide- excavate it and bring it into consciousness where it can be worked through and integrated, or repress it and watch it rule your life. It’s one of the hardest truths we have to face: If we don’t deal with our stuff, it deals with us. There is no way around this.


The Point Process’ (TPP)

‘The Point Process’ (TPP) is a clear and direct access to uncoil your misconceptions and to recognize the obvious, the wholeness you are, that has been forgotten. All our pain and suffering results from a difference between “what we experience” and “what we want.  Like all psychotherapies, nondual therapies provide the space to deconstruct and release conflict and confusion.

The ‘Point Process’ (TPP) evolved as a method to release the many false impressions that drives habituated thoughts and emotions, by attuning to the natural rest available at all times. This natural rest often remains unrecognized because of the unseen monkey mind that in a nano second engage our narratives of self and other. ‘TPP’ simply peels back the veil of contractions in the body & mind that block the access to your immediate wholeness.

‘TPP’ was simplified over years of spiritual practice and countless sessions with clients. It became a direct and unadorned seeing of the physical, emotional, and mental machinery and content, that drives the habituated urge and impulse to seek, fix and do, to improve upon an idea of self, that is ‘thought and felt’ as broken.

About n h english

Natasha English is a Transpersonal / Nondual Therapist with a private practice in West Vancouver, BC. Since 2007 she has taken a psychosomatic approach to healing and personal development.
This entry was posted in Anima Mundi, Awakening, Awareness, Beingness, Cultured blind spots, Freedom, Heart Centered Awareness, Sensory integration, Solutions, The Process, Trauma and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.


  1. ctrl_altar says:

    I’ve never looked at pain in this way. I’ve only ever looked closely at my pain in order to find a way to avoid it rather than actually facing it head-on. This is a great new perspective.

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